1. |
Dance on Water
04:36
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2. |
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I know I can, I know I will, desire my heart, desire it still, and I wept, before my time, but the stained glass phantoms, they aren’t mine…
I know I lead, myself towards doom, just as much as I’m led, like a wind cast through a room, a child’s bedroom, and I spend my hours in the memory I’d proposed when I was young and thought of living alone, an eternal timespan built of my house of which I assumed I would never emerge…
Boy oh boy, boy oh boy, boy oh boy we’re lonely and alone lonely and alone, boy oh boy, boy oh boy, boy oh boy we’re lonely and alone lonely and alone…
Cry cry cry as far as tears can imply that you can’t cry no more, cry cra-cry cry ‘till you’re laying it down upon the floor—
I know I can, I know I will, desire my heart, desire it still, when the crag, opens up, and down the escarpment I slide, so that grass once more may sup…
I know my face, too can be pretty, though there’s nothing to say, when we’re trapped between cities and sprawls, the bridges so tall, and one human’s prayer is another human’s threat so I ain’t prayin’ no more, open flesh to collect, isolation is best, let the cold in me soar…
Boy oh boy, boy oh boy, boy oh boy we’re lonely and alone lonely and alone, boy oh boy, boy oh boy, boy oh boy we’re lonely and alone lonely and alone…
Cry cry cry as far as tears can imply that you can’t cry no more, cry cra-cry cry ‘till you’re laying it down upon the floor--
I know I can, I know I will, desire my heart, desire it still, I shove the noon aside, I don’t fear the end of time, ‘cuz I know what I have inside, will always be mine!
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3. |
Fell in a Well
03:44
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4. |
God Put A Devil
01:46
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I walk by the game in the field, my access is starting to yield, to sleet and rain, the beat of pain, wedding rice on a windshield, the ice gathers wet on the blades, a child’s temper freezes and fades, the catholic guilt seeps into silt and the earth’s humble spinning is staid--
And I’ve got a devil in all of me, she’s a warmth without regret, she don’t melt the snow but she lets it know and it earns a rubber let, and she don’t know how to apologize…
If god put a devil in you, then god put a devil in me, if there is a devil in both of us it’s a sort of equality, it ain’t such a measure of pride, it’s not the essential inside, evil or not I’ve the two-into-one-trial to try her to bridge our divide--
If god put a devil in all of us then we should just rebel, if god put a devil in all of us we should make the earth his hell, give them hold of your throat ‘cuz their screech is the aspiration, of the lowly church bell…
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5. |
Red
03:14
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6. |
Skimpy Don't Cry
02:50
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I wanna show these folks my underburden, I’ll hope these mopes don’t joke that knowing’s indecent, you’re children too beneath your porous obeisance, ‘fraid so, your malaise blows, propagates drear, my malignant fury-- beats back the sinning from nudity, gives the sex positive impunity, breaks breath, out of fake health, for the clothed breadth, of a figment’s stirring, so fantasy is the shut chest so--
Skimpy don’t cry, skimpy don’t cry, they don’t wanna see your underneath then they can just die, oh, skimpy don’t cry, skimpy don’t cry, they don’t wanna see their mirror bleed then they’re stuck inside, oh, skimpy don’t cry…
You wanna punch a neck and strip and feckless, at that irrational and irate’s your fetish, make like a moan, and from your throat you’re relinquished, up pipe, you’re a bare backing a hot arch, like a crying rubber, o’er fingers stiff rich with salivary syrup, the fleeting deem you bitch but you’re outstretched in a stirrup, ne’er waiting, debating, what the norm fares, in deliberation, communicating with new stealth so--
Skimpy don’t cry, skimpy don’t cry, they don’t wanna see your underneath then they can just die, oh, skimpy don’t cry, skimpy don’t cry, if we wanna love our bodies it’s so hard to decide, just how to get by…
Some people think we are viciousness bleating, but in this confidence is much vulnerability, you bare it all you ain’t got no stability, folks are, so dismissive, they cloak misgivings in missives futile, to presidents senators generals and other federal dears who kill queers with trends impenetrable sparkling, beneath this sweater my quaking flesh is hearkening, please don’t erase me from gay space!
Skimpy I’m cryin’, skimpy I’m cryin’, they equate my pleasure intake to an output of crime, oh, skimpy I’m cryin’, skimpy I’m cryin’, just ‘cuz pride’s legal don’t mean my pride ain’t still illegalized, oh skimpy don’t cry, skimpy don’t cry, they don’t wanna see your underneath then they can just die, oh, skimpy don’t cry, skimpy don’t cry, they don’t wanna see your underneath then they live a lie, oh, skimpy don’t cry…
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7. |
Shadow of Myself
02:57
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8. |
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I really wish I couldn’t be alone right now, but I know I can… and I know I am… and I’d better keep it that way ‘cuz a real role model keeps their victories private, they’ll never know my pain unless I hide it…
It’s flat and flat again just like this shape, and owes me like a glass of wine its grape, if empathy is hid when all you do is suck its spout, I’m on the outside looking out…
The only hope to hope to feel in times of doubt is doubt, I’m on the outside looking out.
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9. |
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10. |
God and Ghost
03:44
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I told the nursing porta-potty gull, to bear it proud, there’s little left along this block, I’ve been knocked on my hind like a block from a rind, and if there’s fable, you better tell it now, I met my best friend in a parlor trick, fell out a deck, my buddy split her lip, and as she brushed the dust from her pants I thought girl here’s your chance, to bleat what my whole heart was bleeding, and I said--
When it seems like there is nothing more, just tell yourself, I’ll open up the next skull I find, when it seems like there’s nowhere to turn, just look up high, and watch the best thing as it burns, when it seems like there is nothing left, just creep around, and make a night of what you’ve crept, and when you cry, you know that I don’t mind, I’d let you leak until the weeping rusts my spine--
‘Cuz I love the way you walk into my parlor like a beam, and I love you take a word and start a fire on what it means, and I love the way you follow up a field like an herb, and I love the way you scuttle home and ramble what you’ve learned--
So when it seems like there is nothing more, just tell yourself, I’ll batter down the next door I find, when it seems like there’s nowhere to turn, just look up high, and see that all the best things burn, when it seems like there is nothing left, just creep around, and make a meal of what you’ve crept, and when you cry, you know that I don’t mind, I love you more than any god and ghost combined…
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11. |
Sky City
05:47
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12. |
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I was strapped down, to a table made of bone, no just kidding, I was sitting in my home, I’m still kidding, I was broken as the day, if I’m a savior, do I even get a say…
And I am strung high, as a suicide’s belt, but I’m more lonely, than anything else, and I have failed as much, as I feel as though I’ve felt, but I’m more lonely, than anything else…
I put a bracelet on, that means very much to me, I walk outside in the sun for the sake of just being there to see, I sip an espresso when I’m out to assuage the fatigue of all the fear that’s embedded in my chest, but I guess I still know how to guess, I’m no worse off than the rest…
‘Cuz I’m protruding, as a knuckle with a welt, but I’m more lonely, than anything else, and I’m more grainy-brained, as a cerebrum made of spelt, but I’m more lonely than anything else…
You may be human-born, but you’re to a corporate end, and once mid-twenties hit, it ain’t free to be a friend, if it meant drinking tonight I’d steal and I feel as though my limbs are lined with snow, my one-life mind is running out, of livable things to know!
And I don’t pray none, but I know that I have knelt, ‘cuz I’m more lonely, than anything else, and I’m as glassy-eyed, as a pacified pelt, and I’m more lonely, than anything else…
Hey I just wanted to say thank you, very honestly, I’ve been feeling pretty emotionally isolated lately so it means kinda everything to me that you’ve listened to this album, if you haven’t heard the whole thing please I’d definitely recommend it, if not that’s fine too, but really sometimes I don’t quite feel like I exist and making things like this is sometimes the closest thing I have to proof.
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The Convincing Actor Roselle Park, New Jersey
SHE/HER
TRANS WOMAN
ROSELLE PARK, NEW
JERSEY
EXPERIMENTAL/
AVANT-GARDE/
ART ROCK/
ELECTRONIC
THANK YOU
... more
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