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Showering Off The Cleanliness

by The Convincing Actor

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about

I wrote this piece over two days of driving, which I do for money. By the third day I could hold it no longer and feared I wouldn't be able to drive without unloading it, and so I did. I should be glad to drive once more.

lyrics

I have become lethargic… so lethargic of spirit, I fear I may never fear again… fear has died, but it haunts me, and I cannot identify the resulting experience through words alone, so I have prepared--

I have been enlightened, I have imbibed, partaken if you will, in so much of this here gin, that I do believe I see the world in a new way…

Tell your girl to put gin in the bad wine, there isn’t anything that doesn’t have a glass around it, tell your mother she’s wearing the cum sock, there isn’t anything that I don’t have a bottle of it, the consuming is waste-based, then the better the waste tastes, and the wetter the breath gets, ‘til the pun rests, and the body is a water with a lake about a hole around it… Pocket chair, there is a bible there, that lists the things I bested when I left behind, now I’m thinking I’m a preacher’s daughter I got led to slaughter by a thermal mind, read that mind and I felt that book and it got me thinkin’, I don’t talk loud enough to be heard, might as well leave a word in a god like a knife, get the rivers running… I don’t need to sleep well, I just want my fate steered, I don’t want my heart held, I just want my face feared--

I found him walking on my water…

Why do you wonder, what I have become, why do you give a fuck, it should numb your tongue, ain’t it fuckin’ obvious, why people fuckin’ suck, ain’t it fuckin’ obvious, that I have given up, try not to shower, I got no one to fuck, neither would I breathe too deep, I got no guts to thrust, ain’t it fuckin’ obvious, why people fuckin’ suck, ain’t it fuckin’ obvious, you’ve all just given up…

Look there’s someone, who treats me like I want to, look there’s someone, who treats me like I want to, maybe we don’t spend much time, but they’re someone who’s out there, maybe we don’t spend much time, but they’re someone who’s out there…

Why walk on water, when gin can hold you stuck, why go to sleep at night, for fear of waking up, ain’t it fuckin’ obvious, why people fuckin’ suck, ain’t it fuckin’ obvious, my body’s giving up, why go to two bars, when one has everyone, why boast of tolerance, the drink’s already won, ain’t it fuckin’ obvious, why people fuckin’ suck, ain’t it fuckin’ obvious, I know I’ve given up…

Look there’s someone, who treats me like I want to, look there’s someone, who treats me like I want to, maybe we don’t spend much time, but they’re someone who’s out there, maybe we don’t spend much time, but they’re someone who’s out there…

credits

released November 15, 2019
All music and lyrics written, performed and produced by The Convincing Actor. Photograph taken by them as well.

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The Convincing Actor Roselle Park, New Jersey

SHE/HER

TRANS WOMAN

ROSELLE PARK, NEW JERSEY

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